Fellow Bears faithful, inhale deep through the nose… exhale slow through the mouth… and cast last week’s “loss” against the Vikings into the Des Plaines River where all bad energy flows downstream into oblivion.

This Monday night, our Chicago Bears host the Viking. And yes, I previously predicted a 63–0 masterpiece. Let’s build on that prophecy, with the realism of a bear who’s sniffed every threat (and hauled it back to camp for breakfast).

Reggie White to Green Bay in ’93? That was transformative. Herschel Walker to Minnesota in ’89? That built a Cowboys dynasty. The Parsons trade? It’s two clowns juggling chainsaws in a burning circus tent. It’s not history-making. It’s lipstick on a cheesehead.

Welcome, Bear Down faithful. Today, we embark on a five-step meditation to align our inner fan energy with the universal gridiron forces guiding the Chicago Bears toward glorious victory.

This practice can be revisited every week—before kickoff, after a rough loss, or whenever you feel the creeping doubt of Packers propaganda poisoning your soul.

This week, the air hums differently. The stillness before game three carries a heavier weight. Why? Because this isn’t another exercise in depth-chart experiments and anonymous roster cuts. This is starters vs. starters. Well, at least for a series or two.

The Chicago Bears. The Kansas City Chiefs. Destiny meeting dynasty, in the preseason temple of a late August night.

Deep in the forest preserves along the mighty Des Plaines River, I, Cicero, have awoken from a long slumber. Fueled by hot dogs, beer, and broadcasting from a satellite dish made of discarded Packers helmets., I come bearing the truth:

2025 isn’t just a season. It’s The Year of the Bear.

Let’s dive into our completely unbiased, totally realistic, absolutely ferocious 2025 Chicago Bears season preview.

Meet Cicero. Born and bred under the shade of oaks along the mighty Des Plaines River, nourished on a steady diet of Gene & Jude’s hot dogs (no ketchup or I’ll maul you), Old Style beer (straight from the can, cold as January at Soldier Field), and the occasional lost Packers fan who thought “north of O’Hare” was safe territory. Spoiler: it isn’t.