Week 16 Preview - Understanding the Assignment & Ending the Illusion.

Parable of the Fish That Thought It Could Not Be Caught

There is a legend along the mighty Des Plaines River. A fish. A mystical one. Old. Slippery. Arrogant. It swims just below the surface, flashing silver, always visible, never reachable. For years I hunted it. I tried patience. I tried strategy. I tried breathing exercises learned during a particularly rough Bears season. Nothing worked. The fish mocked me. Slipped past my claws. Vanished into murky water just when I thought I had it.

(Gene and Jude’s hot dogs, by comparison, are incredibly easy to catch. They do not fight back. They welcome you.)

But this fish was different. This was the thrill of the hunt. Much like the Packers. For seemingly a generation now, the Packers have been that fish. Always there. Always just out of reach. Smirking beneath the surface. Confident that history itself would protect them.

Until one cold day, the river froze just enough. The current slowed. The footing stabilized. The moment arrived. I waited. I centered myself. I stopped chasing. And when the fish made its usual lazy pass, I struck. Not with rage. With clarity.

I lifted it from the water. Held it up to the sky. Let it see the world it thought it ruled. Then I released it back into the river, humbled, no longer mythical, just another fish with a story about the one time it got caught. Because domination is not about destruction. It is about ending the illusion.

A Generational Curse Ends Now

The Packers have dominated this rivalry for what feels like multiple ice ages. For decades, this rivalry has been less rivalry and more recurring trauma. Bears fans have endured quarterbacks with careers measured in months while Green Bay cycled through Hall of Fame monsters like it was a Costco sample station.

Let us speak plainly, because healing requires honesty. Green Bay owns this series. Generationally. Painfully. Historically. 12 of the last 13 games, to be exact.

Enough. Two weeks ago, the Bears went into Lambeau. In the snow. In the cold. And they stood toe to toe. They almost took it. Almost does not count, but it matters.

This season has been about slaying ghosts… Road wins. Offensive line stabilization. Rediscovered run game. Non-vanilla base defensive schemes. Creative blitz packages. A legitimate coaching staff. Resounding win over the defending Super Bowl champions. A winning season.

Packers vs Bears in Soldier Field. This is the final boss. The end level demon. The cursed save file. This ends now. Not next year. Not after another press conference. Now.

The curse cracked. Now it breaks.

Understanding The Assignment

Last week against the Browns, all Bears fans passed the test. Frigid cold. Arctic wind. Heat warmers taped to every limb. And yet the stadium roared. Full throttle voice. No excuses. No early exits. No polite Midwest golf claps. Ben Johnson noticed. The players noticed. The hapless opposing sideline of Cleveland Browns noticed.

Now it is time to escalate. This week is not about surviving the cold. It is about weaponizing it. Continuous noise. Sustained chaos. No mercy on third down. No silence between plays. The Packers should not be able to hear their own intrusive thoughts.

Soldier Field must become uninhabitable on Saturday night. A full day of tailgating in the parking lots before the night kick-off should help tremendously.

A Quick Word About Warm Ups

In consecutive weeks, the Bears have lost pivotal starters during pre-game warmups. First Kyler Gordon. Then Rome Odunze. This is not bad luck. This is performance art.

To the training staff, I say this lovingly and loudly. Please stop whatever interpretive dance routine is happening before kickoff. Stretch less aggressively. Jog with intention. Smudge the locker room. Call a shaman. Do something. Anything.

An Open Letter to Kevin Warren

Kevin. What the actual F, man?

This city is buzzing. The vibes are the best they have been in years. The team is ascending. Soldier Field is alive. Bears fans are smiling in public again. And days before the biggest home game of the season, you announce that the Bears are now considering Northwest Indiana for a new stadium.

Northwest. Indiana. Gary, Indiana? The Gary Bears? The Gare Bears? A glittery beam of a Gare Bear Stare blasted at the opposing team’s sideline?

Kevin, you absolute clown. You managed to anger everyone. Downtown loyalists. Arlington Heights truthers. People who barely understand geography. Impressive, really.

No one needed this now. Not this week. Not before the Packers arrive. A solemn reminder that Ben Johnson cannot fix everything, at least not yet. Some chaos remains beyond even his reach.

Kevin, right now you need to STFU. Let the city cook on Saturday.

Final Zen Manifestation

The Packers are not immortal. They are not magical. They are just the fish that swam free for too long. This week, the river belongs to us.

Bears 34. Packers 13.

The hunt is over. Bear Down. Namaste.