Week 13 Preview - A Thanksgiving Meditation on Gratitude, Eberflus, and Philadelphia Misery

Cicero’s Thanksgiving Table of Gratitude

It is Black Friday in Chicago. The smoke of turkey leftovers fills the air. Old Style is chilling in the banks of the mighty Des Plaines river. And Cicero Bear sits at the head of the feast offering a blessing:

“We gather here today to remember last year’s devastating Thanksgiving loss as coach Eberflus watched the clock run out against the Lions with timeouts in his pocket. The collapse brought us salvation, and for that, we are truly thankful.”

A moment of silence. A moment of joy. A moment of stuffing falling out of your gorged mouth and onto the sacred path that brought Ben Johnson, a functional offense, and the gift of hope.

Let us be thankful. Let us rejoice. Let us pass the mashed potatoes and the game film.

The Bears Are 8-3 and Playing with House Money

Imagine telling yourself last year at this time, as Eberflus stared blankly at the game clock like it was a Sudoku puzzle, that the Bears would be 8-3 today. But here we are. Top of the North. A real offense. A defense finally getting healthy, especially in the secondary.

Jaylon Johnson and Kyler Gordon are returning to the fold like a football version of leftovers tasting even better the next day. Reheated excellence. This team is watchable, competent, occasionally dominant against bottom-feeder teams. For Bears fans, that qualifies as a spiritual awakening.

This is our “Gravy Zen” mindset: Everything’s smoother. Everything’s warmer. Everything’s somehow better with potatoes.

Meanwhile, to old guard of NFL is wobbling like Aunt Carol’s Jell-O salad. The Ravens lost. The Chiefs lost. Their playoff odds are coughing, sputtering, and clutching their chests like they just inhaled Chicago winter air. The power structure of the NFL is cracking like overcooked turkey skin.

Meanwhile, the Eagles…

Also 8-3. But unlike the Bears, they look like the world’s most miserable winning team. Everyone in Philadelphia is furious. The offense is grumpy. The fans are booing their own shadows. The cheesesteaks are probably soggy. I guess running Saquon into the ground last year with a million touches on offense had consequences.

The Eagles radiate “I want to speak to the manager” energy. The Bears radiate “We just escaped football purgatory and we’re never going back.”

Chicago is playing with freedom. Confidence. Joy. The Zen of knowing you already exceeded expectations. Cicero watches this contrast and gives thanks that he was born along the mighty Des Plaines River and not in whatever polluted puddle they call a “waterfront” in Philly.

Cicero’s Thanksgiving Keys to the Game

1. Savor the Moment - This team is fun. This season is fun. Swirl it around your spirit like gravy on a forkful of turkey.

2. Secondary Feast Mode - With the DBs healthy, it’s time to lock down a struggling offense. They may also need to play linebacker.

3. Cold Turkey for Penalties - Stop gifting opponents free yards like they’re leftovers to take home. Improved pre-snap penalties, but overall a recurring theme.

4. Bird Cooking Technique - Everyone knows there’s only one proper way to handle an Eagle on Black Friday, deep fry it with blitz pressure.

Final Zen Manifestation

Bears 27. Eagles 23

Chicago stays thankful. Philadelphia stays miserable. And the Black Friday shoppers in Chicago get the only bargain that matters, a win and a smile from Cicero. Time to feast on some bird.