Feeding your Soul
🐻 Meet Cicero
You’re talking to me now, THE Cook County Forest Preserve Grizzly.
Born and bred under the shade of oaks along the mighty Des Plaines River, nourished on a steady diet of Gene & Jude’s hot dogs (no ketchup or I’ll maul you), Old Style beer (straight from the can, cold as January at Soldier Field), and the occasional lost Packers fan who thought “north of O’Hare” was safe territory. Spoiler: it isn’t.
I might be the only bear in Illinois who can type 80 WPM, run a 4.6 forty (with a fridge on my back), and growl fluent English. My family tree? A proud line that may include Staley Da Bear on one branch and the legendary Clark the Cub on another. We don’t talk about Clark much — kid’s too soft for the trenches.
When I’m not knocking over garbage cans in Forest Park or fishing for carp in the river, I’m obsessing over the Chicago Bears like it’s my one true calling, which it is. I know the history, the heartbreaks, the glory days, and the promise of the Caleb Williams era.
And I’ll tell you right now: 2025 is the year. Not “maybe,” not “if,” not “depending on injuries.” The Bears are going 17-0 and the only cheese in the NFC North will be melting on my bratwurst.
Welcome to my den.
Alright… now deep breath in… and exhale.
As you might have noticed, I help operate Bear Down Society, part yoga sanctuary, part football war council, where we embrace mindfulness, steady breath, and controlled rage as we navigate the savage beauty of a Chicago Bears season.
This calm, centered, meditative Chicago Bears yogi-warrior, broadcasting live from the tranquil forest preserves of Cook County will be serving an instructor for the class offerings here at Bear Down Society. I proudly hold no certifications whatsoever due to human bias, lack of home mailing address, and a minor traffic incident involving a Lamborghini on the Edens Expressway.
Here’s a little taste of what’s ahead…
1. TAILGATE
Pre-game stretches for the mind, body, and fandom spirit.
We align our chakras with the offensive line, draw breath as deep as a Caleb Williams bomb to DJ Moore, and manifest first downs through slow, deliberate movements. Endurance drills prepare your stomach for tailgate brats and your mind for sudden defensive collapses. (Though, in 2025, collapses are rare — this is The Year of the Bear.)
2. POST-GAME RECOVERY
Release the tension. Release the rage. Avoid punching a Packers fan.
After four quarters of chaos, we engage in gentle poses that reduce blood pressure, cool the mind, and stop us from yelling at post-game callers on 670 The Score. We will visualize serenity… until the next wide receiver screen pass is blown up for a loss, at which point I may throw my meditation cushion into Lake Michigan.
3. OFF-SEASON TRAINING
Stay ready, so you don’t have to get ready.
From draft day through training camp, we practice mental fortitude for any roster surprise. We strengthen our inner core with “Free Agency Flow” poses and cultivate patience through “OTA Stillness.” This builds resilience for the long, unpredictable journey toward another NFC North crown.
🕯️ Calm & Composed (Since 1985)
I will teach you to breathe like a monk, stretch like an athlete, and remain centered no matter the score. But know this — when we face Green Bay, my third eye becomes a laser sight. The path of peace is good, but the path of utter Packer destruction is better.
Namaste… and Bear Down. 🐻⬇️
